Everyone needs to have some good memories. They can give a person a boast on a gloomy day or when you are caught in a depressing mood. And I think that a person must have some good memories in order to form a good self image.  Parts of  various good memories will be used to form your perception of who you are and how you fit into your world.

You don’t have to spend a long time in a reflective thought in order to benefit from a good memory.  Sometimes just the flash of it across your mind will be enough. But it helps if the good memories are vivid enough and strong enough to be easily available when needed.

I assume that good memories are generated by good experiences, which would be experiences in which you received some positive benefit. And good memories probably come out of relationships, so they probably focus on some positive experience that you had with another person. Although I’m sure that it is possible to have a good memory of a time or place or situation when you were alone, and you had a particularly good experience being there by yourself.

Of course good memories are personal treasures. They are absolutely private. No one can invade them, steal them, manipulate them, or even know about them without your permission. Some drugs or psychological techniques can uncover them to others to some extent, but the memories will always be yours.

Photographs and diaries and journals and scrap books and things like those can help to preserve some good memories, but please note that the permanence of such things is never guaranteed. People have lost generations of family photos and personal records in fires and floods and divorces and other personal tragedies. But memories that are stored in one’s mind cannot be destroyed by such circumstances. Dementia caused by Alzheimer’s disease or a stroke or an injury to one’s brain can affect a person’s memories, which often adds a heavy psychological burden to the otherwise physical discomforts of such diseases or injuries. But such personal afflictions are not regular traumas for most people.

So it is well to protect good memories, but what can a person do who may not have many in the first place? A lot of good memories are created by a happy childhood, but not everyone may have had  that blessing.  And sometimes the youth years are full of new tribulations, and the glorious of young adult independence and graduations and weddings and the fulfillment of career ambitions may not be sustained by many good strong memories. What can a person do when the supply of good memories is very scarce?

As long as a person has the mental capacity to make choices, he or she can be selective in what features or experiences in one’s past one wants to dwell upon. If most of your experiences have been negative or not particularly beneficial, don’t go back there very often or stay there very long. Use your present moment for something that is positive. And a good memory may just be buried under a bunch of “garbage” or some “trash” that should have been discarded a long time ago.  Dig through the “garbage” or the “trash” to find that small “gem” of fleeting friendship or personal victory or a moment of laughter that can provide you with a good memory. For some such small “gems”, I invite you to check out some very brief statements that I have written regarding “good news”. You can read them here: good news.

What do you think is the best source of good memories? What are some of the good memories that bless you? How can a person protect them? What can a person do when he or she only has a very few in his or her “treasure” chest. Let’s talk about this.

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Everyone wants to have good relations, especially with family members and a few friends. Isn’t that right? But they apparently are not automatically established. Individuals are different, even those in the same family. They do not always see things in the same way. They may often respond to circumstances and encounters differently. And individuals are subject to changes in their moods, interests, and needs as they grow older. So establishing good relations is an ongoing challenging process, but it is an important part of being a human and living with other humans.

What are the qualities that are present in good relations? What do you think that it takes to establish good relations with other individuals? What personal  attitudes and behavior are necessary within and from individuals if they are going to be able to establish and to maintain good relations with others?

I would suggest that a person who wants to have good relations with others must first be a person who has the virtue of  character. Then he or she must be able and willing to share the gifts of forgiveness and encouragement to others for their offensive actions and attitudes and their efforts to make good changes in their lives and relationships. For further insight into these qualities see these statements on my website: “character”, “forgiveness”, and “encouragement”. Let’s talk about this.

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If you are engaged in giving or receiving emotional support with someone, you are engaged in a process that is a special gift to both of you. You just may be trying to encourage a friend or your spouse who has recently lost his or her job. Maybe a neighbor just came down with a “bug”, and needs some help for a few days. Or maybe one of your coworkers just went through a divorce. Or maybe you are responsible for the ongoing care of an parent who has become disabled by a serious stroke or disease, and they will need a lot of emotional support everyday as they struggle with their changing circumstances. All of the various problems that are currently troubling our society are creating a growing group of thousands of people who are in daily need of some emotional support from someone else. Their cases are reported everyday on the news, particularly if they live in any of the gulf states.

Part of their needs may be financial, but the bigger, more important part, is probably more personal. It has to do with how they are going to adjust to their changing situation. Oil companies, banks, government agencies, and even churches, synagogues, or mosques can’t provide the quality of emotional support that is needed by many people today. Such emotional support can best be provided by a friend who really cares and with whom you don’t need an “appointment” to see.

For some additional commentary on this matter see my statements on encouragement and care givers on my website. There is a big need for this good gift of emotional support in our society today. How much “paper work” should be completed before one can get this type of support? Why can’t the big agencies with money and personnel provide this kind of support? What does a person need in order to provide good emotional support to someone else? Let’s talk about this matter.

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According to this common greeting, “happy new year”, a lot of people are wishing that others will experience some happiness this year, and they are probably also wishing it for themselves as well. But with their greeting they may not understand that happiness will not be experienced or received unless it comes from the right source. Jesus had some very specific things to say about being “blessed” with happiness to a crowd of people who were following him. He said that those who “are the poor in spirit”, “mourn”, “are meek”, “hunger and thirst for righteousness”, “are merciful”, “are pure in heart”, “are peacemakers”, and who are “persecuted because of righteousness” are the individuals who will be “blessed” or made happy by God. This teaching is found in chapter 5 verses 3-11 of the book of Matthew in the New Testament. No one should expect to be happy if he or she is planting and cultivating the wrong “seed”, living in the pursuit of things that are really not good. What is it that will make you “happy” this year? Let’s talk about this.

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